Grieving During the Holidays and Finding Light in a Tender Season
On Deck with Dr. Ra’Sheeda
December 12, 2025
✨ The Most Wonderful Time of the Year, and One of the Hardest
The holiday season is one of the most emotional times of the year. It is a season that holds joy, tradition, nostalgia, and togetherness. For many of us, though, it also holds grief. Sometimes they all live in the same room, in the same moment, and in the same breath.
I lost my father on December 17, 1997, just days before Christmas. Every year since, the stretch between Thanksgiving and the New Year has carried a beautiful heaviness. I love the holidays with my whole heart, but I also feel the ache. I have learned that grief does not take breaks, even for twinkling lights and family gatherings.
✨ Grief and the Holidays: A Complicated Pair
Holidays highlight what is warm and present, but also what and who is missing. You can be laughing one moment and fighting back tears the next. That emotional duality is normal, human, and valid.
For me, honoring old traditions has been one way to stay connected to my dad. The music, the food, the small rituals, they are grounding. But grief is not just about missing someone. Sometimes it is also about navigating old wounds, family conflicts, forgiveness, and the parts of our story that did not feel fair.
✨ Grief and Forgiveness: The Hidden Connection
As I have grown, I have learned that grief and forgiveness are deeply intertwined. Not just forgiveness of others, but forgiveness of myself:
- Forgiving myself for the moments I thought I should have handled differently
- Forgiving myself for the times I did not have the emotional capacity
- Forgiving the parts of life that did not make sense at the time
Forgiveness does not erase grief, but it makes the path lighter to walk.
✨ How My PT Lens Helps Me Understand Grief
As a physical therapist, I often talk about tension, release, breath, and safe movement. Grief affects the body just as much as the heart.
During the holidays, you may notice:
- Heaviness in your chest
- Tightness in your shoulders
- Fatigue you cannot explain
- Restlessness
- Difficulty staying present
Your body remembers what your heart carries.
Simple movement can help:
- Deep breathing
- Gentle stretching
- Grounding exercises
- Stepping outside for fresh air
- Slow walks with someone you love
Movement does not eliminate grief, but it helps regulate your nervous system so grief does not feel so consuming.
✨ What I Want You to Know This Season
If the holidays feel heavy for you, you are not alone.
If joy feels complicated, nothing is wrong with you.
If you are holding grief, love, gratitude, and frustration all at once, you are human.
Give yourself permission to:
- Enjoy the moments that feel good
- Step back when things feel overwhelming
- Honor your memories
- Create new traditions
- Rest when you need to
Your grief is a reflection of your love.
✨ My Hope for You
I hope you feel supported, not pressured.
I hope you feel connected, not isolated.
I hope you give yourself grace as you navigate the beautiful and tender moments of this season.
And if you are grieving someone you miss deeply, I am sending you warmth, comfort, and a gentle reminder to breathe.
You are allowed to move through this season at your own pace.
Your story matters. Your healing matters. And you do not have to do any of it alone.
